aegoddess83

I imagine my last few entries have been jumbled and frantic, the excesses of a mind attempting to sort itself out.

It is different - you do change. At first, the little words and the sweet ceremony seem just that - a confirmation of a commitment already made in spirit. Then you begin to truly discover each other - to take time to see the world through the eyes of the other and see their spirit reflected in you. You realize that you are not alone - never alone - that you carry the person in your heart at all times. You learn the true purpose of the honeymoon - that the exotic locations and heavy drinks are not the true purpose, but that you are given the chance as a couple to realize and share in the bond you had not anticipated.

You begin to realize how little you have changed - how in fact you have become more of yourself with the other person - that you are truly becoming the person you have always been. You understand the true strength of your spirit - that you are yourself and yet not-yourself and in becoming accustomed to this not-self you have become.

Tonight I'm feeling lonely for Texas. So we're going to party like it is 2005 in my house. Joe will learn to two-step and I'll introduce him to my master library of Texas Country.

We have a house for nights like tonight - the neighbors do not need to participate.

So...I was gone for a while - getting married and going on a lovely honeymoon to the Bahamas. Lovely...rum drinks and conch fritters.

I found that I lost weight for the wedding because I was so nervous and anxious the week before. I hadn't intended to lose weight - I have approximately 0% self-control around food - so it was unexpected. The highlight of it all was my rehearsal dress nearly falling off. However, after six days in the Bahamas it fit nicely again, which was good as I wore it when Joe and I went out for his birthday.

So here is 1 (one) photo I got from our photographer - he will of course send us more, but put a few up on his blog. And yes, I did buy the rights to the photos.





If you would like more photos, please go here.

In the spirit of...

I've had a crazy few weeks at work

I've had a crazier few weeks at home

I have a new place to live

I'm about to get married

I'm posting lyrics to one of my favorite songs from an awesome band I saw oh, about four years ago at 1st Avenue in Minneapolis. Go there at least once - it is worth the trip.

( The Push Stars - Claire )

Today I went on a short run I'm going to dub "The Bachlorette 20k." The run was up in DC, Georgetown to be specific. Aside from my clueless driving (turn left, no right, no wait what?) Amy and I got there at a reasonable. We registered, ran the race, and had a good time.

Did I mention it was 7 degrees when we started?

I live in a small townhouse complex in the middle of nowhere. It is close to my work. Sometimes it bothers me because there are no street lights at all in my little neighborhood or on the base where I work. I have learned to navigate by the light of the stars and the moon. I know now when the moon is full and when it isn't.

Visiting the future in-laws this weekend, I learned they live in a similar situation - a small townhouse complex in a town outside a big city. They have streetlights everywhere.

I missed the stars.

Today I had my annual competency holiday luncheon and training. As we were leaving our lunch site for the training, I noticed my Prius-driving coworker had a "McCain-Palin" bumper sticker affixed to his bumper. I immediately flipped him off because that is how we roll at my work.

I immediately got stuck in traffic. Then I got lost as I didn't know where we were going and I left my cell phone at home.

After the training, I got pulled over and got a citation for having a headlight burned out. I now need to replace the bulb and then go to the state trooper barracks in Leonardtown to prove I now have two functioning headlights.

Merry Christmas to you, too.

( Alaska: Anchorage )
Next stop: Denali!

So, tonight is Halloween. Joe and I were going to go as this year's "IT" couple (Sarah and Todd Palin, natch) but the fact that we're both sick, the fact that we spent Tuesday and Wednesday going back and forth to Norfolk (hence the sick), and the fact that the only party we're invited to is in a bar on a military base contribute to the fact that it seemed like a bad idea.

But today I was reminiscing on Halloweens past. Freshman year, I went as a slutty cheerleader. I think that is the last time I was forced into a stupid gender-normative costume.

Sophomore year my French Lit class was studying (in French!) Victor Hugo's The Hunchback of Notre-Dame so I went as a gargoyle. The guy I was dating at the time asked if I could go as a pretty pink princess gargoyle and I declined. Smart move. I also made some awesome goth wings which I no longer own.

Junior year a group of friends and I went as pop stars and I was Shirley Manson. It was a completely normal effort to explore alternative hair colors. Someday, I'll be a red-head again.

Senior year (number one) I went as a succubus. And not a sexy succubus either. A realistic succubus.

Senior year (number two) the Dave and I went as Helena Bonham Carter and Brad Pitt from Fight Club.

First year out, I went as Trinity from The Matrix. It was sort of a default costume as I put it together in about 10 minutes after Sam called from the BoQ. It resulted in an unfortunate question from Specimen: "So...I'd like to see what you have on UNDER that costume." Ugh. And then I got involved in a full-fledged Southern Maryland brawl. I'm talking 20 guys in the parking lot swinging at each other and half the cops in the county showing up.

Last year I went on a ghost tour in St. Augustine with a bunch of co-workers/friends and it was awesome. Except for the regrettable Terry/flight suit incident.

So this year, I'll keep it tame. Joe and I will stay home, grill some dinner, hand out candy to the kids from the neighborhood, and wallpaper the house.

So, in my summer of fabulous vacations, continued, I spent two weeks in Alaska. Instead of blogging EVERY SINGLE DAY like I did Hawaii, I'll break it up into segments:

Anchorage, Round 1
Denali
Homer
Anchorage, Round 2

And of course in the background Joe and I have quietly started redoing our house. I need to put up some pictures of the "office" (aka Rebecca's old room) and the dining room (aka Joe and Rebecca learn to remodel a room).

So look forward to lots of posts about avoiding being an engineer.

Ok kids, for those of you playing along, I'm finally on my last day in Hawaii. I still have a two week trip to Alaska that I need to blog about, as well as house renovations and wedding planning. Oh, the backlog of photos and blog entries.

Joe and I got up at the incredibly early hour of 7:30 am. Well, it isn't that early when you're in Hawaii and you are purposefully ignoring your jet lag. We had an appointment at the Hana Ranch to go horseback riding at 9 am. After a lovely leisurely breakfast on the porch we drove up to the ranch and met our horses. They were very gentle, of course, and easy to ride. Our guide took us through part of the ranch land with lots of cattle. I was a little scared of how the cattle (both cows and bulls) would react to our presence, but I worried for no reason. The cattle pretty much ignored us the entire time. Part of the ride is on land that is owned by Oprah and held in trust by the ranch. Hana is on the east side of Maui which is more of the rainforest/aerable land side of Maui. It is very desirable land for development (no need for irrigation) and for farming. Oprah owns about 100 acres near the Hana Ranch. While I'm sure the trust is mostly for tax reasons, I think it is commendable that the land is kept as farm/ranch land instead of being developed into a resort.

After the ride, Joe and I picked up a few things at Hasagawa's General Store and then went over to Wainapanapa State Park. When Joe was younger and his family would come to Hawaii, they would rent cabins (sort of roofed tents) in Wainapanapa State Park and the family would vacation there for the week. There is a black sand beach in Wainapanapa State Park and Joe's grandmother would come and watch them play on the beach. The park is now a big tourist destination so there weren't as many people on the beach. We did explore the beach and a small cave at one end as well as explore the paths in the area. We saw on guy climb to the top of a large vertical rock spit in the middle of the bay and dive off of it a few times to impress his friends.

After the park Joe and I went back to the house and had lunch before heading to Hamoa Bay. The house was on Hamoa Bay so it was a short walk (uphill, of course) to the public beach. There is a small sheltered cove but most of the water in the bay experiences a very strong undertow so swimming is very undesirable. We lay out in the sun for a while before heading back to the house for a final dinner. We grilled chicken and had pasta salad again. After dinner I made a CD of my pictures for everyone and then we went to bed.

Today we spent the day exploring the Hana area.

7 am – Joe and I get up a run. Joe does not mention that the road manages to go uphill both ways. I guess that is what you get for beach-front living.

9 am – Joe and I head out (along with his family) to the Seven Sacred Pools and Waimouku Falls. The area, O’heo Gulch, is actually part of Haleakala National Park but on the opposite side of the island. There aren’t any roads connecting the part of Haleakala where we hiked with O’heo Gulch.

10 am – Joe convinces me to hop in the Seven Sacred Pools. It is quite cool, but I’m glad I do it. The rest of his family sticks around and takes pictures.

11 am – We start hiking to Waimouku Falls. The falls were part of the scenery in the opening scenes of Jurassic Park. The hike is beautiful – lots of scenic overlooks as well as a large bamboo forest. It is nice to hike, even if is relatively easy. The falls themselves are beautiful, but it is hot and very sunny so we do not stick around for long.

1 pm – We have lunch at Lindbergh’s grave. It is in a very scenic spot over looking the ocean. His wife does not appear to be buried with him – or if she is, she is not commemorated.

2 pm – Joe and I test out the hot tub at the house. It makes us sleepy.

7 pm – The entire crew heads to the Hotel Hana-Maui to have a nice dinner and celebrate Joe’s parent’s wedding anniversary. The hotel Hana-Maui is a single-story building with lots of open-air areas with pools and plants. The restaurant is supposed to be the best in Maui and it lived up to it’s reputation. We started with cocktails and appetizers – Joe and I split vegetable tempura. Then we got to the main course, where I was the most adventurous and got grilled wild boar tenderloin. It came in a personal sized hibachi and I cooked it myself. There was also sushi rice to go with it. We had fun sharing stories, including the story of Mike and Kellie’s engagement. Choice quote of the evening: “Then, I realized I was sweating…not because I was nervous, but because I was in a room with 100 lit candles!”

I was really happy last night to see Capt. Sheridan on Heroes.

Joe and I saw Elegy in Annapolis on Friday. It was hot, we had a few hours to kill before dinner, and neither one of us had read a movie review in months. We took a chance and the movie has been haunting me ever since.

I suppose I look at this movie from one angle as I have never read The Dying Animal (Philip Roth) and therefore can not give the literary film review. I had an ex once who complained about my fascination with Road to Perdition as it was merely a character study which studied one character (in my opinion, two, but that is neither here nor there). He held up as an example Meet Joe Black which he said was an example of a character study of eight people. He was going for quantity, not quality. Elegy is another small-scale character study; we study David Kepesh (Ben Kingsley) mostly in his apartment, with a few appearances in his classroom and various locales in New York City. It is a study of how he behaves as he must face the reality that he has outgrown and no longer desires the entanglement-free life he has touted for so long.

The two women in his life exist as foils to his self-discovery. The one (Carolyn/Patricia Clarkson) is a woman of his own generation (approximately) with whom he has enjoyed "hit and run" sex for three decades. The relationship is purposefully meaningless yet with certain unspoken expectations of which Kepesh may not be aware. The other (Conseula/Penelope Cruz) is a former student with whom he falls in love, despite his own perception of the relationship. Consuela is never fully developed as a character and her best moments are when she reflects some key trait of Kepesh. Her character seems full of contradictions; she is a well educated woman who is capable of managing her own affairs yet at the end seems more defined by how others have perceived her than by her actual existence. Kepesh's friend (George O'Hare/Dennis Hopper) reminds him of the invisibility of beautiful women yet Kepesh is incapable of seeing how invisible Consuela is to him until she becomes invisible to herself.

There is no promise in the ending of the film that Kepesh has discovered some long-lost humanity, that he has repaired all his troubled relationships, or that there is a big cathartic moment waiting in the wings. The plot has never denied Kepesh his humanity, only his ability to face it. In the end, that is the central question of the film.

Just an update on the life - in my summer of awesome vacations, I've been in Alaska for two weeks then without internet for a while then my lovely fiance came home for good so I've been lax on blogging.

And, instead of posting pictures here, I uploaded them to Picasa and you can find them here.

Today we left Wailea and did the Road to Hana. Yep, survived it. I think the bigger feat was baby Connor…well, wouldn’t want to give away a big part of the story, now would I?

7 am – Joe and I go running. We run the same route along the cliffs as I did yesterday. Joe and I enjoy the scenery and enjoy running together. The silent companionship is something I’ve never found before.

8 am – Joe and I are tasked with loading the cars. We’re the only two engineers, so this is probably the logical solution. After I’ve crammed my suitcase, three golf bags, and a set of folding chairs into the trunk of a Pontiac G6 I begin to think this is unfair. We also have a cartop carrier and the two back rows of a Saturn Outlook to fill up. We barely make it. I probably regret missing these pictures the most as it shows what we were up against, but still…people…pack less stuff. As I cram Joe’s dad’s third suitcase into the car, Joe reminds me that his family is chronic over-packers. Uh, yeah honey, I noticed.

10 am – We hit the road!

11 am – We arrive at Joe’s grandmother’s house. We step outside and meet her goats, Coco and Jellybean. They are happy to see us because we have food.

1 pm – We start on the Road to Hana. The road to Hana is a 30 mile twisty road along Maui’s northeast shore. It runs through cliffs and rainforest. It is quite beautiful. We stop for lunch and accidentally surrender some of our lunch meat to some feral cats. We stop in Ke’nae where Papillon was filmed as well as at a very nice waterfall which was infested with mongoose. Apparently the mongoose were imported to eliminate the rats except the mongoose is diurnal and the rat is nocturnal. Gotta love the logic.

5 pm – We arrive in Hana. We are staying in a house known in Feehan family lore as “The Pearl Jam House” as they were unable to rent it one year because Pearl Jam had rented it for the entire summer. Pearl Jam was not actually present the week they were there which was especially crushing to Mike as Pearl Jam is the only band he actually acknowledges.

After getting to Hana we play a long game of Apples-to-Apples and retire. The house is rather rustic for the Feehans as it doesn’t have air-conditioning but it does feature lots of fans and running water. But we all survived the first night.

I'm taking a small (two-week) hiatus from Hawaii posting because a lot of the pictures I want are somewhere else and somewhere else is with someone else where my heart honestly desires to be but isn't. Not a good excuse, but I'll get better.

Also, I had some most excellent pho tonight in Southern Maryland. There is hope after all.

See ya in two weeks!

Today we progress to Day Three of the great descent upon Hawaii 2008. Today is our last full day in Wailea ( (bye bye full service resort). )

( Day 2 will be shorter and with more alcohol-themed pictures! )

So I used to email with this guy...a few years ago. Tonight, I found all the emails and reread them. All I have to say: I don't regret the bar anymore and I was a fucking naive idiot to not read the situation better.

Fucking naive idiot.

We went to Hawaii to visit Joe's family for a week in June. I won't bore you with the trip down, so here is day 1.

( Day 1 )